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a funny craigs list ad...
Last Post 20 Oct 2009 11:01 AM by Porknbeans. 3 Replies.
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grouchyolddudeUser is Offline Happy Puppy Happy Puppy Send Private Message Posts:173 grouchyolddude
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02 Oct 2009 08:17 AM

    /*AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD*/*/ /*

    */To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last./**/ /**

    */Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T./*/ //

    *I was the guy wearing the black *Burberry jacket* that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.*
    *First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!*
    *I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].*
    *After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!*
    *I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]*
    *I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.*
    *Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two *threatening phone calls* to the DA's office and one to the *FBI*, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.*
    *The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).*
    *In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!*
    *Thoughtfully yours,*
    *Alex*

    LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO HUNT WITH AN UGLY GUN
    HillbillyUser is Offline Master Hunter Master Hunter Send Private Message Posts:706 Hillbilly
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    02 Oct 2009 09:20 AM
    I read that one a while back pretty funny.
    Life's Short Play Hard
    BobUser is Offline Master Hunter Master Hunter Send Private Message Posts:550 Bob
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    02 Oct 2009 06:12 PM
    I have read that before also, I agree it is pretty funny......Bob
    My Dog And I Are A Team. We Practice Every Day. I Always Trust Tony, He Knows More Than I do.
    PorknbeansUser is Offline Master Hunter Master Hunter Send Private Message Posts:542 Porknbeans
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    20 Oct 2009 11:01 AM
    While I can appreciate the approach, and question the authenticity, the guy has openly admitted to at least 3 felonies of his own. I hope it was just a joke or the joke will be on him.
    Porknbeans Grand High Pooba of the Fraternal Order of Procrastinators
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